Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Defining The 'I' in TMI

As bloggers, we put ourselves online. We put ourselves online, a lot. I mean, there are varying degrees of comfort when it comes to that obviously - not all of us do it the same way, and some of us have boundaries that others don't. Today I want to expand on those boundaries.


Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to sharing things online. Some are happy having a tell-it-how-it-is attitude, such as the wonderful Vix Meldrew or  Laura at Superlatively Rude.

Firstly, can I please say I wish I was as confident and fancy-free as both of those women. I've been an avid reader of Laura and Vix for years, but they represent something that is so different and alien to me that I just can't embrace the same blogging tactic they do. As prudish as it seems I simply cannot open up on the same level as them - casually or professionally. My job restricts me somewhat thanks to my name not being a secret. I'm actually a little glad about that as I don't feel comfortable sharing too much anyway, I like having my own privacy and despite being a blogger and putting myself online - I like having my own privacy. Just because I blog, just because I share - doesn't mean I like having my personal life splashed everywhere.

I see that 'excuse' thrown around so much - "You blog, surely that means you don't really care about what you share online?"

It really is the exact opposite. I control what I share. I control the context, the angles, the captions - everything. I pick and choose what I want to put online, and I want to keep everything I do share pretty positive and rosy. I don't share the days where I've struggled to get out of bed and I'm staring at a laundry pile that has built up for weeks. I don't take a photograph of my face the days I'm looking pale and withdrawn. Or the days I can't be bothered washing my hair. Or even the days I wear my pyjamas all day. I don't share Mike's personal life. I don't share the children too much, they choose when they want to appear in vlogs and generally on Instagram I share photographs that Mike has vetted.

I see a lot of people tweet about women being able to talk about what they want, when they want, on whatever medium they want. But I'm happy in my little comfort bubble. Even offline, I get uncomfortable speaking about sex or the finer details of my personal life with anyone. I doesn't mean I don't support the cause for women, and it doesn't mean that I'm against feminism and the positive message it champions.. It just means I'm a little bit of a prude and I'm okay with that. I'm comfortable being uncomfortable with certain topics.

It isn't wrong to have walls and barriers when it comes to sharing.

It isn't wrong to share everything, warts and all.

We all share the same space and it'd be so boring if we all felt the same. That's what makes us different. I can live my life vicariously through other people sharing if I like while keeping my own blog fresh - and sharing what I'm happy to share! 
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